Naomi's (Stephanie's Mom) Page
On Friday, February 4, the most precious thing I ever had was taken from me,
Stephanie, my daughter, my friend and the most special person ever to walk this
earth.  In her 16 years here she was loved by more people than some folks have
been in their whole lives (me included).  I've been amazed by how many hearts she
touched.  

Stephanie was born at a time in my life when I needed to find some good in the
world.  My parents were gone, I had served two years in the service to obtain
money for school and my Mom had passed away after a long illness, my father had
died in 1970.   When we found out I was pregnant we left with my small inheritance
and  moved to Concord and we were going to give it our best.  When Stephanie was
born, she gave me everything to live for.  She was a dream baby, nothing but joy.  
Sometimes I would go in her room when she was sleeping and give her a kiss and she
would always smile. She did everything right on time like crawling, walking,
talking and she especially liked swimming at the age of six months.   

The marriage didn't work out and I found myself faced with the prospect of
starting over. With a lot of encouragement from my family, I went back to school
and my sisters helped me with Stephanie. Once we got going, things started to get
better.  I would study and she would color.  She always loved to color.  She would
lay out all her colors and we would work together.   To this day there is a drawer
filled with colored pens, pencils and crayons.  She couldn't have enough.

I finally got a good job with benefits and things were good.  I was also selling
Mary Kay products and Stephanie would love to help me set up for the parties.  She
was attending the Holy Family Day Home and she was capturing hearts way back
then.  One day I went to pick her up from pre-school and her teacher told me that
Stephanie had been found under a table kissing a boy.  When I talked to her about
this she didn't feel at all bad about it.  She just smiled and said how cute he
was.   

She also had her first pet during this time.  He was Ricky the Rat. He was so cute
when he was little.  I would carry him on my shoulder sometimes to go pick her up
at school.  No matter what was going on, whenever I picked her up from school she
would run to me and jump into my arms and hug me really tight around my neck.  
When Ricky grew up he got mean and one day bit Stephanie and that was the end of
that.

When it came time to pick a school I had heard about an all girls school and I
thought that might be good, and she could play with the boys later.  She was
accepted to Hamlin which is located in a former mansion in the Pacific Heights
neighborhood of  San Francisco with a full scholarship.  Stephanie made friends
right away and she was invited “for play days” every weekend.  I was gardener for
the city at the time and everything was going great.  It started to get a little
uncomfortable for us though when we realized that most of the other students that
attended Hamlin lived in their own mansions and drove very expensive cars and most
had nanny’s.   

Then I got transferred to the airport and we had to make a choice about the
school.  We decided to move to Pacifica to be closer to my sister and her husband
(Toni and Wayne) and closer to my job.  We have wondered many times if that was
good decision to leave that school, but times had changed and off we went.  

She started at Sharp Park School and immediately had problems with her teacher.  
Stephanie was never tolerant of mean people.  When she would tell me some of the
mean things her teacher would say to her and the other kids I would get so mad.  I
was in the principal's office at least once a week asking for an explanation to
this teacher's behavior.  The last visit was when she was so upset about this
teacher she said she would not go anymore.  I had my last words with the woman and
transferred her to Cabrillo.   This all happened over about six months.  

Even with all of this going on we would go swimming at Oceana Pool every Friday
night.  She loved to swim and tease the boys and chase me to dunk me.  Those were
great times.  I don't think we missed a Friday for about 5 years.   She met so
many kids there. A lot of them she still remained friends with all this time.  Ah,
the friends again.  She always had someone spend the night and sometimes the
weekend.  Everyone loved to play with Stephanie.  

Our experience at Cabrillo was much better.  Stephanie was always getting into
trouble for the same thing.  Hitting the boys to make them chase her.  She made a
lot of friends though and while she was there life was good.  

Soccer was blast and we tried softball but it didn't keep her attention long
enough and we stopped playing.  

When middle school started it was an awkward first year.  She started to not want
to be with me as much and I didn't like it one bit.  She would tell me it wasn't
personal it was just that girls that age aren't supposed to like hanging out with
their Moms.

We still found ways to make it seem like she wasn't really hanging out with me but
I still knew where she was every minute.  Basketball was by far the most fun sport
yet.  Steph's long legs would get her down the court in what seemed like
effortless grace.  She also was able to reach out and grab that ball with long
graceful arms.  There was always pity for the girl who had to guard to Steph
because she was guaranteed to be worn out by the end of the game (if she made it
that far). All the girls had a new goal, WINNING! It also brought a new awareness
of other adults (coaches). The girls had so much to say when it came to how the
coaches handled the team, the calls, the practices and fairness to each other. It
was a great experience for everybody.  

New looks, more boys and new ideas on how to have fun were discussed.  Sleepovers
were the best, watching movies, catching up on gossip and planning for how to get
the world to work in our favor.  New rules on when to come home, plans for the
future. We had moved when the .dotcom hit and we were living in a so-called in-law
apartment (really just someone’s basement with a makeshift kitchen.)  It was big
though and we made it work.   The friends that were there are still so close to my
heart and they have been there for me to this day. Kaitlyn, Kelly, Ashley, Maddy,
Johhny Wigel. Alyssa, Amanda, Jackie, Jordan, and if I didn't mention your name
I’m sorry.

All of the sudden it seemed teens with difficult home lives (or so it may seemed
to them at the time.) started turning to drugs and alcohol. They taught the
younger ones how to do it and used them to get money, cigarettes and a place to
stay.  I never saw it coming.  It is rampant in this town.  I thought I had
escaped it, living in a small town.  I was wrong.


To be continued: