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Thinking of you today especially....but I think of you so often. Hope heaven is treating you well our angel. Send your
mom my love I haven't talked to her in awhile. Miss you steph.

Xoxo, smurf
February 4, 2010
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Hey steph-
Its been a long time since Ive wrote on here but it doesnt mean i havent thought about you or johnny and you no i
havent missed you any less.You know why i havent been able to.  That night and that whole weekend still plays in
my head. Everytime i see a pic of you, everytime i hear your name and everytime i tell my friends about how you
died.  My friend David ( from SJ) is even wearing that blue braclet that says "Remember Drive Sober".  He asked if
he could wear it and i was happy to let him. So he's thinking of you too.I miss you guys just as much as i did from
4 years ago when it all happend! You have a good group of friends up there with you so i no you  always have
someone.I cant wait till  we meet again.  See you in my dreams until that day comes.

Alex
May 12, 2009
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Hey sweetie,
There is a new trellis at the tree for you.  Maddy brought beautiful roses and there were some beautiful flowers
there and they were from Paul and Josh, so I called up Paul and they said they spent some time down there on
the anniversary.
I hooked up with them over at your bench and we talked for a long time.  We're getting together again soon.  They
reminded me so much of the times we had in 2004.  It was one of the hardest, but the best years for for you.  They
know it's hard for me to see them but they want to see me anyway.  They understand when I cry and they cry too.
We are all still are crying over losing you.  You had some really good friends.  There were other flowers there too
but I'm not sure who left them.
I miss you more and more every day .   
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
.Love Mom
February 22, 2009
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Hey Stephanie.  
Don't know where you are, except in my heart and thoughts constantly.  It's "comin' on Christmas" as Ms. Lang
says, and I'm missing you every day.
Don't really know what to do anymore, I'm trying hard, I decided to embrace the life I have like you before me, trying
to build a better space with my mom, but you and I know it's time for me to skeedaddle.  
Seems the harder I try, the more I fail.  My heart feels hardened these days, I'm acting tough, but you know I'm
hurting.
I want you to know that you, angel, are my inspiration.  
I love you Stephanie.
Love Britta.
I love you, that's all I can say.  I believe in reincarnation, so maybe you're around yet.  As a cat?  As another
person?  Who knows...you'd be the silliest cat, though.  Of course, I'd imagine you'd love being a horse, running
free...as far as the gates of the corral, anyway.  Ha, well...Love you.
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Hey Sweetie,
I missed you at the Fog Fest.  I saw you on every corner and in between.  I thought of you every minute and longed
so much to see you walk up.  My heart still aches at the sight of a teenage girl. I know you would have changed by
now and I try to imagine you at 20.  It's easy to imagine. Today I can barely put one foot in front of the other thinking
of another holiday season without you.  I love to sit on your bench and look out into the ocean and think about
heaven and the day we are together again.  As I walk I feel you near.  I miss you.
Love,
Mom
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Hey, there sweetie,
This website was broken for a long time and many things I wrote did not get posted.  I kinda figured it was a sign
since it broke right after I said I would let you rest in peace.  Well I've been spending the time trying to be ok and
with a lot of help from my friends and family I'm able to put a few good days together.  So not the same kind of
days but days none the less. I know I say it a lot but I still miss you as much as ever.  I think about you just as
much and I always will.  I moved away from Pacifica and I'm close to the ocean.  I feel closer to heaven here.  I'm
having the big birthday this year.  I'm going to have party and invite the crew from back then,  I think I can handle it.  
I can hear you laughing and I wish you were hear to tell me funny things about getting old.  You were supposed to
take care of me when I got old.  It's ok though, so far.  Help me out sweetie and we'll talk about it when I get there.  
I miss you!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
XOXOXOXOOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXXOX
Mom
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Hey Sweetie,
Well it's Christmas 2006 and I miss you.  I miss your sweetness, I miss your patience, I miss your humor, I miss
your love, I miss taking care of you, I miss your hugs and especially your warmth, I miss cuddling up with you on
the couch watching movies and rubbing your feet, I miss our late night talks and giving you back rubs, I miss that
you were devoted to your family and friends, I miss you mostly because you were everything I wished you would
be and more and you were everything I wish I could be.  Make no mistake I still have those talks with you at night
and picture you there drifting off to sleep. Your Uncle Wayne had said something once that rings in my ears
whenever I have to go out and look around at other people living their lives.  He said "God took the best so the rest
would pay attention."  Alot of people are paying attention. They are watching out for each other a little more and
spreading the message to not drink and drive.  Katy is flying in tonight and Maddy and Ashley are picking her up at
the airport and they are coming over to see me and have a little Christmas time together.  Laura is coming by
today. When I tell people that your friends still call me and come by to see me they realize that is unusual for such
young people and they are amazed by that.  My friends miss you too.  You made big a mark on this world my love
and it is carried on still.  You also had some amazing friends and I know it was because you were so special.  I
remember one of the only disagreements we ever had was about "your friends".  You always stood by them and
saw the good in them and they remember you because of it.  Well, also because you were so funny and cute.
Whenever people see me I know they see you too.  And if they are psychic they actually do see you.  Standing right
beside me, watching over me and loving me.  The last psychic I went to see was literally looking right at you
talking to you.  She said you are with other people that you love too.  She was astounded at how clear you are and
she said that was very unusual.  I've been spending alot of time reading books written by psychics talking about
the other side and they say that the spirit world is just a few vibrations away and learning how to reach you and I
light alot of candles for you. Sylvia Brown is my favorite right now.  She tells all about the spirit world and she says
it's just like here only without the negativity.  She says there are universities there and sports and lots of parties
and you can be many places at once and do whatever you want because its all good.  She says we know each
other there before we come here.  She says there is no need for drugs or alcohol there because of the absence
of negativity.  How profound is that!  She has cleared alot of things up in my mind that I already knew.  I know you
are with God and that you are with me.  It has made it a little easier to be here because I know that I will be with
you again.  I also know that there is a dark side and the only defense from it is light and that we must fight it by
bringing light whenever we can. I'll be at Toni and Wayne's today and we will light some candles for you so you
will be there too.  I miss you desperately today and I went to the tree last night and put up some things to make it
a little prettier.  Toni made wreaths for You and Jonny and Uncle Wayne put them up.  It will always be the place
that your sweet little body left this place.  I went by Jonny's house last night and said hello his family.  There is a
song named "There is hole in the world tonight" and Marsha's group played in at your funeral and they played it
when Toni had the candle lighting ceremony for Compassionate Friends on the 10th.  There is huge hole in my
world that you filled while you were here but I'm filling it memories of you today.  There is a hole in Jonny's family
too, but I felt you both there and I could definitely see you both there. Help me complete my mission here so I can
come find you.  I understand the meaning of R.I.P now.  My gift to you this Christmas is to let you rest in peace my
love and let you live through me and with me and move me whenever you want to and until I find you, keep
vibrating your beauty and perfect love through me.
Love and kisses,
Mom
Mon, 25 Dec 2006 10:52

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It's been along while since I've posted but I always think about you two and was wanting to wish you both a Merry
Christmas and to ask you to fill the homes of your families with your presious Love give them a sign~like the
sparkle of the North star right in the middle of there front room!. Jonny ,Jeff has been having a hard time again can
you please touch his heart and let him know it's you he needs it so bad right now. I feel him slipping away again
and I so worry about him he's 16 now and driving around in cars and I don't like it I get so scared, you know how I
am about all that please cover him with your wings so I
know he's safe!. Thank you and Love to you both*~
Patti!
Wed, 20 Dec 2006 19:36
P.S. Light a candle for Steph & Jonny at MADDHome.com
.
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dark circles under dialated eyes
eyes filled with rage and dispair
i want to break the mirror
do you see me?

nails digging into pale skin
skin that covers the emptiness within
my insides are screaming
can you hear me?

heart growing cold and stiff
trying to keep endurance to beat
hatred pumpin through my veins

i am broken...

i love and miss you stephie. i hope to see you soon.
kaitie
Mon, 11 Dec 2006 19:45

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Hey steph-Ive been thinking of you alot latly.....I miss you...Theres times in life where words have failed me, i no
that
much, i dont think the way i feel inside can get put into words...i miss you more then ever right now....ive been
feeling you with me alot in these last couple of weeks..thanks i needed it, with the hoildays here and with
christmas just being just around the corner...makes me remember all the little things we did..and then after i think
of all those times we spent together, i quickly go back into reality knowing that we cant make anymore memorys....
All i have now is the memorys... that i hold with me! Well steph i got to go! See you when i get up there!
r.i.p
~Alex~

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hey steph,
the holidays are here but they definitly arent happy.  gavin just passed 2 weeks ago and it has been a somber
time in pacifica.  i know you guys are having a blast up there together watching over us.  cant wait till i can join
you.  ive been having a hard time lately.  i still miss you so terribly.  ive been thinking about you a lot,  i just
watched your slideshow,  you were so beautiful.  i hate it that only good people get taken from us. i miss you with
all my heart steph, and almost 2 years later it hurts just as much maybe even more.  thinking of you always.hope
to see you in my dreams.
Maddy
Wed, 29 Nov 2006 17:09

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Steph,
I wanted to say how much I miss you and that I love you so much. I'm going to see your mom this weekend, and
I'm so excited to see her. Lily of course is growing up to be a little lady:) She was a fairy for halloween, and she
looked so pretty. She is very smart. She knows who you are too. She always looks at your pictures that I have
around the house and I'll ask her where is Auntie Stephy, and she'll point at your picture and blow kisses. She is
so amazing. I wish you were here so bad so you can see how much she's grown. I want you to hold her, play with
her, do her hair like you always talked about when she got older. You know how much we love you and I know
how much Lily meant to you. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think of you. There is always something
that reminds me of you, like a song, or a butterfly, or even picture frames:) I know you loved pictures of your family
and friends and was always so creative. Please continue to watch over me and Lily especially. I love you so much
Stephanie and I can't express how much I miss you and always appreciated you being there for me through hard
times. You always seemed to get me through it. I love you.
Jen
Thu, 16 Nov 2006 09:49





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Hey Sweetie,
Well it's Halloween and I miss you.  I've been thinking of how adorable you always looked and how fun you were
on Halloween.  All I know is that I will be thinking of you as usual and I know you will be cruising Pacifica watching
out for your peeps.  Make sure to check in on Lily and look for the candle in my window.  I love you.  

Mom
Mon, 30 Oct 2006 23:37

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Hey steph! Well its now Holloween! Its crazy... it seems like yesterday is was holloween last year! The year went
by fast! Anyway- i just wanted to drop by and say hello and that i miss you like always! I was in pacifica over the
weekend and felt you with me the whole time! Watch over everyone tonight- its going to be a crazy nite! well steph i
got to let u go~I MISS YOU!
R.I.P- i will see you when i get up there!
Alex
Tue, 31 Oct 2006 08:06

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Another Friday is here and I am filled with beautiful thoughts of you.  Your huge heart and love for your family and
friends still thrives here on this planet.  I hope that GOD just wanted you so badly because you were so special
that he couldn't wait to have you back and I am touched by that in a way.  There are so many horrible things
happening here that I hope he is keeping you safe from them.  There is a girl at work that reminds me of a little
you and it reminds me of the things about you that you only shared with me.  Your insecurities and doubts about
how beautiful you were inside and out.  I remember as you grew up how amazed I was by who you were
becoming.  I wanted  to be with always because I didn't want to miss a thing.  As the holidays are coming up I feel
the world closing in on me. I will try to see your friends and send them some love from you. I love you so and I
miss you desperately.

Til I find you,
Mom
Fri, 13 Oct 2006 11:37
I can't get hold of Kaitlyn but I hear she's ok.  Where are you Katy?

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I was looking thru Of all Places MySpace.com and came across the site in Memory Of the both of you and thought
to myself man what’s this about.  Now after about an hour of looking thru Stephsgarden.com and reading all the
comments I was really touched by this tragedy and will remember this as an example to tell my 3 kids.  It’s a real
shame that this had to happen and I hope that your Deaths don’t go unheard,I was specially touched because I
too came to Pacifica from far away and made it my home and went to school at Ortega and Terra nova also,I
agree with what a lot of Pacificans are saying about the kids needing something there in Pacifica so that Drinking
and doing Drugs is not the source of entertainment in Pacifica ,May you 2 rest in Peace and I will Pray for your
Families . Gob bless you 2...
Luigi Handabaka
Thu, 12 Oct 2006 02:08

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Hello beautiful angel,
ive been thinking about you a lot lately.  my life has been turned upside down.  you always cheered me up and put
a smile on my face.  i miss you more than  words can explain.  my uncle lee passed away last night. it was really
sudden and im still kind of in shock.  if you can find him out there please take care of him for me.  i really miss you
steph.  life just isnt the same with out you.  you are always in my prayers.
thinking of you always...
MADDY
Mon, 2 Oct 2006 10:12

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Hey Steph! Sorry i havent really been on latly ive been busy working, school and making my way down to pacifica!
So u can say my life has been pretty crazy! Well yesterday was my first day in starting college and was wanting to
talk to u sooooooooo badly! I miss our talks more then anything right now! To hear your voice! i cant ever stop
missing you- and feel you with me all the time! Well steph i got to go to work- i just wanted to drop by and say hi
and that i miss you!
Love ya steph! R.I.P
Alex
26 Sep 2006 11:52
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Hey Steph,
Well I went to the Fog Fest and I was flooded of memories of you and me on Palmetto.  I feel you so strongly
lately. You are so a part of me that it feels like you are guiding me.  I need to embrace that so if it seems a little
strange when I make decisions that I think you would have made, don't worry.  I always knew your heart and I think
I can handle it.  I have thoughts that I know are yours.  When I feel your sweetness it reminds me of how you
changed me.  You made into a way better person than I was before I had you.  When it is no longer a battle to do
the right thing, I know that's you.  When I see people with love, I know that's you.  When I think twice about having a
negative opinion about something, I know that's you.  When I think about my future I know that it is all about being
better so I can be with you again, I know that's you.  I miss your beauty and sweetness but I can feel it in me and I
know that it is you helping me to go on.  Til I find you, I will carry on with you in my heart shining through.  

For eternity I will love you.
Mom
Mon, 25 Sep 2006 08:40
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Hey Steph,

Well I can't stop crying again thinking of you and how happy you were just before the accident.  How you turned
your life around and then BAM it's over.  I don't understand anything any more; it just doesn't make any sense.  I try
every day to see some good and without you it all seems so dull. I had a little happiness when Lily and Jen came
down.  You would have loved playing with her, she is adorable and she makes this funny sound when you show
her something or tell her something, it's like "Tuh" like Yeah Ok you're a clown.  It cracks me up though.  I cried a
lot though thinking of you.  I tried not to but I couldn't help it.  Jen really misses you too but I think she tries to be
strong for me.  I'm getting to know her a little more now and she is really doing a great job with Lily, but it's hard by
herself.  Lily loves stickers.  We had great fun with some of your stickers.  I almost couldn't share but I know you
would want me to be a good Grandma.  We missed you so much!!!

Your birthday passed and Maddy and Amanda came over and Maddy said "I wonder what she would be doing?"
and we knew you would be happy having fun and probably shopping.  We lit candles for you to send some love to
the heavens but it was really hard at the end of the day when you weren't really here.  We all think of you all the
time and think what you would be doing and hope that you know that.  I wish you could send me a sign or
something.  Try really hard ok.  Well, I love you and miss you desperately and I look for you everywhere and I
cherish every minute we shared together.

Til I find you,
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
XOXOXOXOOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOX
MOM   
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wow steph ur 18 today...hope jonnys spoiling you up there cuz u kno u deserve it...im gunna go and bring u some
flowers later okay...love you girl  HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Ashlee
Thu, 24 Aug 2006 14:25

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Happy 18th birthday stephaine! Here we are another birthday without you...I remember for your last birthday i was
coming back to california from being back east! And went by the tree very late that nite! This year i couldnt make it
for yourbirthday...sorry
stephanie....i miss so many things about.... what i miss the most is the simple.... to hear your voice, your laugh,
your smile and your jokes that you always use to say! Going though senior year i would walk down the hallways-
and remember that u would always be running to your classes because you would of been late- i remember we
use to talk about werid stuff during passing period if we saw each other and i remember junior year in wagners
class u sat right behind me and we use to talk about life in
general and sometimes we would eat my lunch in that class! And in science i remember we would always get
tape and play with it! We did crazy stuff that year! Anyway i miss you stephaine! R.I.P.
alex
Thu, 24 Aug 2006 09:45

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Hey steph!! wow today is ur 18th birthday!!! You would of been soo excited!! We all wish u were here so we could
all celebrate for you. I hella miss you i look at the pic we took on the bus and it makes me happy but sad to know
that we cant take anymore pictures like that. i love you hope you have a wonderful birthday up in heaven and i will
bring some flowers down from me and zacky to the tree in a lil bit.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Love Melissa
Thu, 24 Aug 2006 11:19

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HEY STEPH!
HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY!!!
ur always in my heart! luv you lots!
<3lauren swanson!
Thu, 24 Aug 2006 12:03

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To the Love of My Life,
It’s your birthday again and, as time passes, it only seems more unreal that you died.  The memories of you are
even more vivid, likely because there are not new ones to take their place.  I saw you at the dining room table
awhile ago and it seemed so real.  You said you wanted to show me something then you turned to get it and
disappeared.  Your voice was clear and you looked so real that I felt like I could have touched your beautiful skin.  I
like to think that what you wanted to show me is that you are OK and remain just as you were.  I love you and miss
you.
Auntie Tone    
24 August, 2006 01:05

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hey steph....
today is your 18th birthday.... its crazy how time flies by... i am in college right now (chico state) and its really weird
knowing you arent somewhere for me to talk to. i keep meeting so many new people and of course they want to
know stuff about me and you always come up in my explanation of myself because you have shaped my life in
such a unique way and i am forever greatful for your impact on my life. i love you so
much... thank you for everything...
happy birthday baby girl
love you forever,
reannah
Thu, 24 Aug 2006 01:04:40

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hey steph!
i miss you so much! even tho we never were good friends i always thought of you as my friend. you were always
so nice and sweet to me! there isnt a day that goes by when i dont think about you!
RIP
<3lauren
Fri, 4 Aug 2006 09:38

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I miss you so much, i can't tell you how badly i regret never calling the past few years. I really thought about it all
the time! All those times we spent after school at your moms store, we had our sleeping bags there and your
mom would always quiet us down. Those animal papers you had a million of, your geckos, swim nights, horse
rides, trip to Tahoe. I cant tell you how many times we got in trouble for talking all through class. I really wish i
could talk to you and just catch up. I heard a song the other day that we listened to on the way home from Tahoe
with your Aunt, i remember the song after 11 or so years because we would sing along to it only because it said
the word bitch in it and we though it was something we shouldnt sing but did it anyways. It made me hurt so
badly. I know how hard things are with people who were really close with you the past few years and i wish i could
have been there. Ive learned a lot through what happened.
Love you!!
Marissa
Sat, 22 Jul 2006 22:37

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Hey steph,
i havent written here in a while... so i thought i stop by and write to u a lil bit. we graduated a month ago! we all
missed u there. everyone wore yellow ribbons in honor of u. i stopped by the tree the other day the garden looks
so nice and all the decorations that people left are pretty. zackys 1st birthday is the 23rd of next month the day
before ur big 1-8!! i miss u. lol i was thinking bout those masks we made for ms malones class and how u had to
take over painting cuz i was making sum deformed tears lol. i keep remembering all these things we did and they
make me smile again. well sweetie i got to go to work. i love u and miss u!
love
Melissa
Mon, 17 Jul 2006 15:02

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Hey steph- ive been thinking of you non-stop since we graduated from terra nova! Ive been trying to stay busy so i
wouldnt have to think of all the heart-ache ive been going through since the accident! but it seems like even the
smallest things remind me of you! i hate thinking that i can no longer see you and the memories we could of
made of you were here! I was hanging out with Becca a few weeks ago and we talked about you for a while and i
felt you sitting with us to help get over the grief - but nothing can help us get over this! All we can do is talk about it
and how this accident made us feel! To tell you the truth steph i never knew what heart-ache was until this
accident occured! After your death is when i truly knew what it felt like! Ive seen sooooooo many people hurt over
this and it kills me to see so many people hurt because u and jonny are no longer here! I hurt for u both everyday
and keep u in my mind always!
Love u
-Alex
Wed, 12 Jul 2006 21:51

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Dear Steph,
u didn't know me but u knew my brothers'. Michael and Evan Rintacutan. or at least they knew u. they told me a lot
of great stuff about u. they told me u were a great poet and i luv poetry and wen i heard u died i started to write
some. now i am relle good. u inspired me 2 write. thank u. i read ur poem and t was wonderful it relle touched
me. when i read everything on this website and on the myspace profile i saw that you were a great person and a
lot of ppl cared about u. i wish i could have known u but who knows mayb one day i will. i am 13 yrs old and i work
at this pre-skl in pacifica and it's rite down the street from the tree. whenever i drive by it i start to cry it's relle
painful for me because i lost someone rele important to me the same day and wen i think about u guys it brings
bakk memories but that's a good thing. you relle taught me a lot of things and ur still teaching me alot bout life
and wat happens.
thank u so much and u will always b remembered even by me someone u
dont even know.
R.I.P
luv analisa
Fri, 7 Jul 2006 12:45

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Natalie Mulay
Hey Stephanie, I'm not sure if you'd remember me, but it's been 11 years since I last saw you in first grade at The
Hamlin School. You were my first best friend ever and I remember how sad I was when you moved away. I was
with a few girls tonight that went to Hamlin with us and your name came up and I had no idea what happened
untiltonight. I really regret that we never stayed friends, but I guess since we were just first graders it would have
been hard. I'll never forget the day that I went with you and your mom to Pier 39 and how much fun we had
together. Im sorry for everything. I'll see you again someday.
Goodbye.
Natalie Mulay
Fri, 7 Jul 2006 01:48

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Hey Steff,
I went to Hamlin with you back in the day and you were best friends with my twin sister Natalie. You were always a
really happy girl and I remember that you always made us laugh. I'll never forget how small you were and your
curly brown hair. Hamlin will miss you, and ill miss you. I wish i stayed in touch with you when you left..i think it
was 3rd grade? I guess no one really appreciates anything until its gone, and I wish I was able to say goodbye
when you didnt show up the next year for school. I didn't find out about this until tonight. Jennifer Goldman and
Kristina Theleen told me about this and I was in shocked. Even though all of us havent seen you since lower
school, it still hurt to know u werent here anymore. I'm also really sorry about your boyfriend. I can see that you
both made a huge impact on people and you were loved by tons and tons of people.
Love,
Amanda
Fri, 7 Jul 2006 01:28

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Well Honey, it's summer and I miss you seeing you all around town.  I miss picking you up at the bus stop, every
time I drive by there I picture you waiting for me and I desperately miss that.  Even though I still feel you in my heart
it is so hard to live without you.  It's like you're here but you're not.  I had a dream about you last  night.  You were in
a grumpy mood and you needed to be cheered up and pampered.  So guess what, I miss that probably more
than anything.  We definitely would have gone shopping today.  There are so many things
that only I can remember and I have thinking about them a lot lately and you my love, taught me more about love
than any person ever. Anyway, the 4th of July is coming and I will be thinking about all the past 4th of
July's when you were here and life was good.  Until we are together again, I will be still be here loving you.
All my love,
Mom
Sat, 1 Jul 2006 09:14

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Dear Steph,
Well I have been thinking of you lately and wanted to stop by to say I love you and miss you dearly. I went to play
pool the other night at the place we use to go to and kept thinking of the good old times...I hope heaven is treating
you well which i know it is! keep your head up
girl....I love you!
~~smurf~~
Tue, 27 Jun 2006 16:52

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Hey steph.... Well here it is the end of the year and we are going be leaving terra nova for good this coming
thursday! I have been thinking of you alot and feel with with me every so often... thanks.... Senior prom was fun but
it would have been alot more fun if u were there! Both Ashley R. and I carried a picture of you so u could of been
there! I no that u would have had fun! I was carrying u in my heart while i was there and that will never change! you
and jonny will forever have a place in my heart and mind~ I miss you steph and i am sooo
thankful that both u and  jonny were a part of my life! You both changed in many ways! Well stephanie i got to let
you go~ i miss you!
Alex
Fri, 9 Jun 2006 17:48
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Hey Baby,
Well today is the Senior Prom for your class.  I wish you were here.  Everybody does.  I will think of you and light
many candles for you.  I know your spirit will be there and your friends will think of you too.  
I've been really feeling you around me and I know you want me to carry on the best I can so we can be together
again.  I believe in you and because of that I'm being good so I can get to heaven and hold you for
eternity.  
All my love is for you Steph.
Mom
Sat, 3 Jun 2006 12:48

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Dear Steph,
I am seeing you dancing in a beautiful dress to all of your favorite songs.  I can see the big, beautiful smile on
your face and the sparkle of your eyes.
Love,
Auntie Tone
Sat 3 Jun 2006 21:53

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Dear Stephi:

I brought you roses with my daughter on your birthday. I go to visit the garden the world has made for you as much
as I can. I only knew you through your mom, and that was a lot because you knew you were amazing. She has
new "firsts" now with you in Heaven, but still beside her. Still there and strong.

I would compare notes with your Mom on what was "coming" since my only child/daughter was younger than you
and I was a single mom too. Your mom was so giving and open with me and so PROUD of you! She introduced
you to me once. I don't know if my daughter got to meet you, but she knows you now. She knows how much you
are still loved and how deeply missed you are because of a senseless, simple mistake. And it’s just the way it is
and its still so horrible. Mistakes happen and don't have to make sense. Life does not have to be fair to be one.
"Reality" is too kind a word for this.

The loss of you from your mom's life makes me cry hard. Still. I can only see from a great distance what she
copes with every day changing the things she can, and accepting what she can't without you here to raise
anymore. You guys are the very core of our lives. Its hard not to resent it sometimes, but then its our life's greatest
gift too. We DON'T have kids in order to make things easier. And they're not, but kids give an innocence back to
the passing of time as we watch you grow up. Seemingly impossible task to have this "core" vanish. And the days
just keep coming, but how do you count them anymore?

You gotta know, Naomi - you are amazing. So loving. SO strong.

I knew "of" you, Steph, for over 7 years of your beautiful blossom on this Earth - and all through your incredibly
loving and giving mom. Even at the Ross, I would hear it all. Man. That woman loved you up, that's for sure. How
could she not?

You still gotta be her "North Star". How can our baby girls be anything less when they turn out like you!? I hope I
am as lucky as your mom has been. Her loss is huge, but she still got to have you and every bit of what came with
that and what makes you so memorable. You are still a person to love, and love loving.

I have an earth angel too - my daughter - and you have taught me to hold her closer, longer, tighter, tell her I love
her more, forgive and be forgiven by her more, cherish every moment more, more, more, more because its all
about this moment. I think you got the attention of alot of mothers and fathers in town. We teach you to walk and
then - damm - you just up and walk away. Truth hurts. I do my job and prepare you for the world, and then I have to
live with what the world does. All of it. Your mother is amazing. Your mother's love going on and your friend's too
gives me Faith. In something. Anything other than what I know and "trust" without a lot of daily effort.

What's true for me today is that a love like the one you share with your mom does not end because your "walk"
here did. Your mother's love for you is endless. You are so lucky to have her STILL. She is so lucky to have you
STILL. You guys give me faith, and you help me keep my head on straight because raising a strong, beautiful girl
in this town is work and often, often hard on the heart. But you guys give me faith in love everlasting and no matter
what. Thank you. - CMS
Julia's Mom
Fri, 19 May 2006 19:19

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steph...my 21st birthday is coming and wish you were here to celebrate it with me. I miss you a ton and hope all is
well with you. Please send your mom love. everytime I read what your mom writes to you I get the biggest knot in
my throat, I can't stand it :(..I miss you steph and think of you daily!!! love you

~smurf
Thu, 18 May 2006 17:54
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Hey Steph,
Well it's Mother's day and I've been thinking about all the cute little things you used to do for me.  I remember the
last Mother's Day we spent together and you said I could have anything I wanted and that you didn't want me to do
any chores.  You got me that adorable little crystal figure with the rose that says Mom and then under it it says I
Love You.  I miss your sweetness.  I miss you so much!!!  Each day feels like eternity and each night seems so
short.  Your friends have been so good to me though and I know it's because of you.  Ashley still thinks of you
everyday and Maddy and Sheena too.  Laura always reminds me what a good Mom I was to you. Whenever I see
any of your friends or their Moms I can see them remembering you when they see me. I took Toni shopping for
her birthday and it was really hard because there were so many things we wished we were buying for you.  We
miss doing things for you.  We were so proud of you and still can't stand you being gone.  I still !  I look for you in
the crowds of kids and I can feel you in my heart wishing you were there.  Well I'm going down to the tree to water
and maybe add a few plants.  I hope you like it.  I'll spend today just thinking
of you and loving you.

Love,
Mom
Sun, 14 May 2006 10:55
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Dear Steph,

This is the first time I've written to you here.

I watched a movie with a girl who reminded me, in so many ways, of you.  She didn’t have your beautiful eyes,
long thick eyelashes or exquisite skin but her hands were long and graceful like yours.  Her feet were like yours,
and I remembered how you thought they were too big and I would tell you that you had hands and feet like high
fashion models.

She ran like you and could hold her own with the boys.  She loved to cut, paste and draw and she held her pencil
and scissors like you did.  Her grandma held her while they talked at night about the problems of a ten year old
girl like we did and like your Mom and I did when she was growing up.  She listened to her grandma, her father
and her teacher but had her own opinions and spoke her mind like you did.

It was a story about a house where they never had a Christmas tree and I thought about the years, before you
came into our lives, that we didn’t have one.  I remembered how you always helped with the tree and how you
loved to decorate the house.  I remember each little decoration you made and how embarrassed you were that I
kept putting them out when you got older.

Like you, she had a big heart, lots of friends and lots of ideas.

I cried while I watched her little self going about her life as you did.
I cried for the little girl you were and for the beautiful young woman you became.
I cry and cry and cry because my dreams for you can never come true.
I cry for your lost future and the end of our heritage.
I cry because the girl walking down the street will never again be you.
I cry for me without you.
But mostly,
I cry for your Mom who is so lost without you.
I cry because there is nothing I can do to help her.

You used to come and ask us if you could earn some money so you could buy your Mom a present for Mother’s
Day, for her birthday, for Christmas and sometimes, just because you loved her so much.  

Now, the holidays and special occasions simply suck without you especially Mother’s Day.

I love you!
Auntie Tone
Sunday May 14, 2006

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Happy Birthday, Jonny!
Alex
Mon, 1 May 2006 17:17:42

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Hey stephanie
lately ive been having the worst heartache for you! Its been a little over a year now and lord knows that i still think
about you and jonny all the time! Ive been trying to get over the fact that i wont get to see you any more but i dont
think i can, there will forever be an empty place in my heart that will forever ache for you both! I never got to tell you
just how much you meant to me and i just want you to know that i love ya steph and i feel you with me all the time!
To tell you the truth ive just had the most miserable days and nights just thinking on why this accident
happened?! I love ya both and will forever have a place in my heart!
Alex
Thu, 27 Apr 2006 16:12

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Dear Stephanie:

I had lunch with your mother today.  I haven't see her in years, and the last time I saw you, you were a little sweet
five year old.  I used to work with your mom at a place called Swords-to-Plowshares; where she helped all of us
help veterans who were homeless and on the street.  You spent many hours with us over there, and helped
many a sad and lonely veteran smile.

You'd be proud of your mom, Steph.  She is working hard at keeping her life together, at finding ways to ease the
pain that she feels everyday since you've been gone.  How lucky you were to have a mom that loved you so much,
that worked so hard to build a good life, a loving life for the two of you.  She continues to look for ways to give her
life meaning, and I am sure she will find it, as that is what you would want for her.  I know you smile down on her
everyday, and sit gently next to her as she struggles to get through the day.  But she is a strong and scrappy
fighter, and will continue to make you proud, as she does me.

Kym Valadez
Wed, 26 Apr 2006 17:03

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come back to us we miss you baby
Anonymous
Mon, 24 Apr 2006 19:57

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Dear Steph,
I know I haven't written in a long time, well actually I have but it's all so sad I've tried to keep it to myself.  Anyway,
nothing much has changed for me.  I still miss you every moment and every time I see a girl
who even looks remotely like you, my heart breaks all over again.  
Whenever someone calls and I am crying they just say "I know, I miss her too".  I just had to say something even if
it all sounds so much the same.  I love you and I miss you just as much as ever.
Mom
Mon, 24 Apr 2006 19:37

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Hey Steph,
I sent you a picture of the both of us. I believe it was on your 15th birthday, the first time I met you and just dored
you. You were like a little sister to me. Remember that night when we went to the beach and
Princesa, Erika, and kelly came to your house and I cooked you guys dinner and you all loved it hehe that was
soooo fun...I miss playing pool with you and your mom....someday we can do it again right? Watch over
all of us, I think about you daily and miss you a TON!!! I love you my lil sis!!!
Smurf
Sun, 23 Apr 2006 22:26


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there was a beautiful wooden cross that was on the tree between 2 carebears, that cross is very important 2 us
and was meant 4 steph 'n' jon.  someone has removed it of its place, and we would appreciate it if it was returned
AsAp. the cross had holy water inside of it that was blessed specifically 4 them. i dont know of anyone 2 have the
nerve 2 steal a cross but, its kinda wrong! please return it on behalf of jon steph and markee

lexo 'n' melmo
Tue Mar 21 18:13
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I looked to the Heavens tonight and I saw two stars shinning so bright above them all it was so cool cause they
seemed to have a Rainbow around them and I knew it was Jonny and you!. Shinning,Sparkeling and Bright it had
to be you two I saw tonight!. Your both missed so very much!. God Bless you always!.
Anonymous
Sat Mar 18 21:02
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I was so sad to see , that the web-site in honor of  Jonny no longer there!. It brought tears to my eyes!. It's been a
year of hurt and pain but the thoughts of the both of you will never leave me so I thought I'd write and say each and
every day that rushes by in my heart you will always remain. I know your sitting next to Jesus and this blesses me
very much!. I hold the memories of you both in a little capsul in a big place in my heart and praise God for letting
you both cross my path in life!, for your smiles your laughter your tears and how your
life effected everyone in such an awesome way!. Now that your both shinning like two presious stars over us all
from heaven!. I want to say I'll never forget either of you!. God Bless you both always!.
Anonymous
Sat, 11 Mar 2006 16:37
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"We remember a life today and all that made her who she was-
all that delighted her,
that made her laugh or moved her to tears,
calling to mind her story,
and the many lives she touched along the way.
We honor a life today-
her outlook,
her inner strength and the things that she believed in-
recognizing her goodness,
her uniqueness,
her own special gifts shared generously with the rest of the world.
We celebrate a life today and her connections with family and friends
and all who loved her-
feeling enriched for having known her and so grateful for our time with
her,
for the way she affected us...inspired us...
and affirmed for us that this is how a beautiful life should be lived."

I found this in a card that I got Naomi and I thought that it was really special and I wanted to share it with all of you.
Laura Burry
Thu, 9 Mar 2006 20:32
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hey stephy! i was listening to my backstreet boys cd the other day and this song called never gone came on and i
thought of you. all the lyrics are so true. well juss thought i'd share the song with everyone. i miss u and i love u!
Melissa
Thu, 9 Mar 2006 13:31

Never Gone

The things we did, the things we said
Keep coming back to me and make me smile again
You showed me how to face the truth
Everything that's good in me I owe to you

Though the distance that's between us
Now may seem to be too far
It will never seperate us
Deep inside I know you are

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life (yeah)
Never gone

No no no
I walk alone these empty streets
There is not a second you're not here with me
The love you gave, the grace you've shown
Will always give me strength and be my cornerstone

(Somehow)
Somehow you found a way
To see the best I have in me
As long as time goes on
I swear to you that you will be

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close (always close)
Everyday (everyday)
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life (in my life yeah)

Never gone from me
If there's one thing I believe (I believe)
I will see you somewhere down the road again

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close (always close)
Everyday (everyday)
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye (yeah yeah)
I know you will be forever in my life (in my life)
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hey hun! i dont know why but right now i'm feeling the most heartfelt ache for you. Recently I got introduced to this
song that is absolutely PERFECT for me to You! It's by Killswitch Engage..pretty heavy metal but the words
capture the depths of my heart in relation to you steph. It goes like this:

What would I give to behold  the smile, the face of love.
You never left me, the rising sun will always speak your name.
It won't be long, we'll meet again.
Your memory is never passing.
It won't be long, we'll meet again.
My love for you is everlasting.  
I mourn for those - who never knew you.
I mourn for those - who never knew you....

The entire song is me to you! it's too expressive of my feelings its almost unbelievable.. Anyway, I've been
listening to it Numerous times a day with that beautiful face of yours in mind. Just wanted you to know that steph. i
love you..  
Kara
Tue, 28 Feb 2006 20:41
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I haven't been able to write for a while because I spend my time thinking of you and I was worried that I would
forget the little things about you that were so special.  That has not happened, I can still remember so many
beautiful things and since I wouldn't give up even when some folks thought I should I can feel you in my heart still
and imagine what you would say about what is happening in my life today.  You were so forgiving and loving, I
know I'm not the only one who has not even tried to get over you.  Your friends, Maddy, Erika, Kaitlyn,
Sheena, Ashley, Amanda, Alyssa, Kelly, Laura, Kara, Jacqui, Dodi, Markie, Alex, Nick, Pat, Paul, Melissa Christine,
Melissa B, Alexa, Jeff, Jordan, Kevin, Marcus, Sarah, Tatiana and John, Kelly and Dana, Jimmy,
Aaron, Kenny, your family Uncle Wayne and Aunt Toni, Aunt Robin and Uncle Paul, Aunt Wendy and Gwyn and
Uncle Robert, Paula and Bianca, Jennifer and Lily, Cousin Stanley, all my friends Doug, Harry, Tracy, Gladys,
Suzanne and Rich, Ginger, Pam, Dolores, Lisa, Linda, Yerevan, all my friends at work and Jonny's family and
friends, there are so many people that hold you dear in their hearts my love that I can't even name them all.  
We will never forget you or let you out of hearts even for a second.  You have a permanent and lasting place here. I
will never feel anything like the love I feel for you.  Until we are together again I can only wait for that moment, and
until then I will love, cherish and remember you. I've not seen even one person who knew you say just get over it.  
We all still hold on and if anyone says we're wrong we don't care!!  I hope you are resting in peace because you
have a line of people trying to get into heaven just to have another moment with you.  With everything I have, I
Love You, I Miss You and I am holding on just to be with you again.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOX
Your Mom
Naomi

P.S. Whoever is writing anonymously, let us know who you are that was a beautiful poem, thank you.
Tue, 21 Feb 2006 18:27
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You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now
Anonymous
Fri, 17 Feb 2006 11:31

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REST IN PEACE. YOUR STORY HAS TOUCHED MY HEART AND BROUGHT ME TO TEARS MANY TIMES. I
DIDNT KNOW YOU OR JOHNNY, BUT I AM FROM PACIFICA, AND WHENEVER I DRIVE BY THE TREE, I FEEL SO
SAD FOR YOUR LIFE BEING CUT SHORT, AND I FEEL PAIN FOR YOUR FAMILY, AND FRIENDS. YOU ARE A
BEAUTIFUL GIRL, AND IM SURE YOUR STORY HAS SAVED MANY LIVES...
ANONYMOUS
Tue, 14 Feb 2006 02:49
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stephanie and jonny:
its been a whole year, and lord knows that a day hasnt gone by that i havent thought of you both and i miss you
both so much, my heart is breaking still when God took you both away from me he not only took you guys but also
took a piece of my heart!!! I feel you both with me everyday, and see you in my dreams. To tell you the truth ive had
the most miserable days and nights just thinking on why this accident occured. Since both of you been gone i can
now remember every memory we shared together and those memorys i will hold in my heart forever! I love you
both and i will see you both when i get up there!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!
Alex
Sat, 4 Feb 2006 10:34
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Hey Steph...I miss you so much. I'm so sorry i asked you to come that night, i blame  myself so much. I feel so
selfish that i wanted to see you. Now your gone and i feel like i can never see you again. Senior year isn't the
same without you. I have the biggest empty hole in my heart without you. I thank you so much for my recovery i feel
like i couldn't have done it without you. Sometimes i talk to you when I know one else understands...just like i
used to. no matter how screwed up i was you still talked to me. I can't believe its almost been a year i miss you so
much and to this day i still pick up the phone to call you. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I WISH YOU COULD BE
HERE WITH US!!!! i love you steph and i can't wait till i see you again. RIP Baby Girl
Erika
Mon, 30 Jan 2006 20:09
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Hey stephy baby!
i cant believe its going to be a year next saturday.. i remember the 4th so perfect. i was chillen at coleens and then
adam called and wanted me to come chill with u guys.. i was gunna go but the last minute i changed my mind. im
so sorry i didnt go. i wish i could of seen u that one last time. i remember the last thing we talked about. we were
complaining that we need to hang out more and we promised that we would. i wish u were still here so we could
do wat we promised. i miss ur laugh and ur boy talks with me lol zackys getting so big now. thanks for keeping
him healthy baby girl. ill never forget u. i think about u everday. our picture we took on the bus at challenge day is
up in my room and i look at it everynite before i go to bed. that day was so fun. all us girls together on the bus lol
good times but juss wanted to tell u that i love u and ill c u again someday and when we reunited it will be just like
the good ol days. keep looking out for me and ur friends and family. rest in peace sweetie! i love u soo soo much!
xoxoxoxo
Melissa
Thu, 26 Jan 2006 12:49
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hey steph!
i really miss you, i cant even put into words how much it hurts to think about going the rest of my life with out
seeing you once.  it almost been a year and i cant help but break down when i think about it.  i feel like i have been
completely lost this past year.  i was hoping that 2006 would be better than last year but so far no luck. my friend
Sid died last week.  he was my homie from safeway.  i would really love it if you looked out for him for me.  go find
him hes a funny guy.  well i love you angel, and i will try to keep that smile for you.
Maddy
Mon, 23 Jan 2006 23:13:52
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Well...the new year. 2005 was...intense. For everyone. I keep telling myself this year will be better, but then the
thought of next month pops up and - all thoughts go on hold. It gets a little hard to breathe. nearing to one year
without my best friend at my side. this has definitely been the longest year of my life. Everyone says it went
by fast, but I don't think so. Your power and presence however is still so strong with me. Constantly. I sometimes
picture you in heaven driving that hot pink 'maro you wanted. And me in the passenger side - The way it would
have been.. I love and miss you so so much. Safe flyin my angel       
Love Kara
Mon, 16 Jan 2006 21:44
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Hey Baby,
It's Christmas and I just want to think about you all day. I remember when I first started making pancakes and the
first one was always wrong.  I got really good at it though, because you loved pancakes and syrup with bacon.  
Sometimes we would even have potatoes and eggs with pancakes and bacon.  There was never any leftover.  
You were just learning how to make them yourself.  I remember that Christmas when we had everyone
over to our house for pancakes.  I miss making food for you.  I remember the first time we had Jonny over for
shrimp.  You kept looking over at his plate and my plate realizing that you now had to share the shrimp with one
more person and be nice about.  I remember your little face changing when you had a little less than you usually
had.  Then we adjusted the recipe to make more so everybody got enough.  Then you guys started asking me
bring home shrimp and you would clean them if I would cook them, and of course white rice just the way you liked
it and broccoli for good health and salad.  I haven't made pancakes or shrimp and rice since you left.  

Someone left me an anonymous Christmas present.  It's beautiful cross with a locket on the back and they put a
tiny picture of you in it!  It came with a poem that goes like this:

Some day there will be no tears,
For they will all be wiped away.
I will hold on to that promise,
As I live each and everyday.

Someday we will meet again,
Though heaven keeps us apart.
For you will always be with me,
I shall carry you in my heart!

Someday we will share joy again,
When I join you in eternity.
But for now you will always be with me,
A precious memory!!!!

I miss you every minute, today is really no different than other days, a huge hole in the world where you used to
be.  I love you and I never will stop loving you.
Mom
Sun, 25 Dec 2005 10:40
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It's almost been a year and there's not one day that goes by i don't think of you. Its been hard to see how close you
were with everyone and how we seemed to fall out after i moved from Pacifica. I wish we could have kept in touch,
we were just so young. I always think about the times we went swimming on Friday nights and how we would
have diving contest, you would always make the smallest splash. I was always so scared to go off the high dive
and you would be up there with all the courage in the world. We would always have so much fun. I remember how
much you loved horses. You were so excited the first time you jumped your horse over a log, not to mention you
were on the biggest horse i have ever seen. You were my bestest friend my last year at Cabrillo, always chasing
the boys and trying to kiss them. What trouble makers. It was so hard to hear about the accident and even more
hard to go down to the tree. SOOO many people love you! The best memory was going to Tahoe together, leaving
our bathing suits at home and playing in the snow with our socks on our hands. I can't believe how many
memories i enjoyed with you. I miss you and there were so many times over the years i meant to call and hang
out...now i only wish i had even more. You've affected my life in the strongest possible way since the accident. I
know i'll see you when i get there and i miss you so much Steph, its
been hard thinking about growing up with you and not keeping in touch...its my biggest regret. I miss hearing your
voice, its unforgettable. I LOVE YOU.
Marissa
Mon, 12 Dec 2005 08:30


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Hey Stephanie, Christmas is here and all i could think about is you!!! I remember last xmas we were talking on
what we wanted 4 xmas and what we knew we got and the stuff we got other people!!! I miss you dearly stephanie
and have dreams of you a lot i feel you with me and i love you very much!!!!!! Until next time, i love you and i know
that u no this but just in case just no that you and jonny will forever have a place in my heart!And i will see you
when i get up there!
Alex
Thu, 22 Dec 2005 15:12
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hey angel. just wanted to try and write down some thoughts..its so much easier to do in my head, but i finally
started that journal of you. writing down all the hilarious and sweet memories we shared together. so they will be
written down and documented forever..  wow, christmas is coming. and i can't even imagine how naomi's feeling..
im so sorry 4 that. you kno wat i keep thinkin about though? how  last christmas you called me early in the
morning just to say merry christmas and ask me what i got. then you told me all the cool stuff your mom got
you. god that keeps replaying. it was so cute of you though. i remember specifically thinking "god what i good
friend!"   aww steph :)  i can't help but smile and cry at all the innocent and loving things you did for me.. thank you
Kara Jasso
Tue, 20 Dec 2005 15:11
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On April 30,1999 my best friend Natasha was riding home with a mutual friend to surprise her boyfriend that she
was 4 months pregnant...(while he was waiting at her house to ask her to marry him....) Yeah we were only 14 but
when you find your true love you find them..... But I think it was only a promise ring....
Anyhow, MR. Hennefeld was also on his way home..... from the bar.... and was driving too fast. HE hit them right
on plunging the passenger from the car... Natasha... hitting her head on the pavement and the driver of her car
was  semi sitting in the windshield... You see natasha forgot to put on her seatbelt... she always wore a seatbelt..
but not today.... and what makes it a real tradgedy is that because of that.. he
got away with it... a "freak" accident" they called it... every year after that on april 30 we would skip school that day
and hang out with Natasha at her graveside...chillin with Tasha... Teachers knew we would do that and get
slack... But now after all is said and Done.. the driver of her car almost died... breaking her pelvis, tracheotomy
was placed in her throat to survive... learning how to walk, talk and associate in the real world was a challenge...
there are some of my friends who really say it is her fault.... and they hate her for it... threatening her while she
was still in high school, taunting her, making her senior year the worst ever... she will have to live with what
happened the rest of her life... by walking with a cane... seeing the scars on her throat and body... remembering
what happened... not able to bear children because of the accident.....

I just wanted to right to let you know That i know how it feels to lose a best friend, a sister, someone you love and
care for... Noone did the stuff you guys did.... set up a website and held donations for the family.... But God Bless
You all... you are truly blessed and I know that They are looking down upon you and I know they are being taken
care of..
GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME WRITE MY STORY

SELETA YOST
AGE 21-
PORTLAND OREGON
Tue, 20 Dec 2005 12:00
email = Twisted_angel169@hotmail.com
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Hey Honey,
I guess I need to say that it is so so so so sad to not have you here for Christmas.  I have avoided all Christmas
stuff and I hope to just get through it.  I am finding that it is better when I do not have to talk about the crash
everyday.  It lets me think about the good times a little more than that horrible night that took your life.  I tried to
make cookies and it just isn't the same without you sneaking into the kitchen and eating them as they get done.  
Maddy came by last night and we shopped for shoes and then just sat and watched tv for a while and we caught
up on things.  It was nice to have someone come over and just visit.  I went up to Calistoga a couple of weeks ago
to that place we always wanted to go, with the big pool.  It was nice and quiet.  The pool
was so nice.  I thought of and imagined you there.  Well, I will check
back in soon.
Love and kisses, Mom
Fri, 16 Dec 2005 14:30
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hey stephie,
wow, this is unbelieveable, i know i was a pain in the butt all the time that i knew you, but i really did love you like a
sister, because thats what you were to me, remember the time i fell off kaities bike and you carried me back to the
house?? Or when you saved my katies life, for that i will always be greatful to you, i relly do miss you stephie and
im soo sorry for being such a little brat, i really wish you could come back, and i would give my life to have you
back, cuz i know that if you were still here that my sister wouldnt cry all the time, you were her best friend, and if
you were back she would be happy again, and thats all i would want, well, wow, i know how she feel, i know you
prilly alredy know this, being in heaven and all, i just lost one of my friends eric, i really miss him, and if you
wouldnt mind, please tell him i say hi, well i just wanted to tell you that in really sorry and i really miss you, okay? i
hope you will forgive me, remember, its not goodb!ye, its goodbye for now, well ill be seein you in heaven!! i love
you stephi love you too naomi!! im lookin forward to seeing you when we come out!!
love always,
chelsey gegan
Thu, 1 Dec 2005 20:35
c
steph   man this is still weird to me. well, that song we wrote for you is done! Now all we have to do is record it.     
and oh yea, senior year sucks without you. when i walk the halls alone though, somtimes it feels like you're
walking with me :)  and its not so bad for that brief moment.  Either i'm imagining things or something but all the
little signs indicating you  really mean alot. I can't even explain the emotion that comes with it.    ya know, i really
wish i had that paper we were doodling on that one day in history with jimmy! you and your little colored pencils!  u
wouldn't believe how hard it is to just get out these sentences... feels like i struggle so hard to try and find the right
thing to say--then i read it over and its like...uhh ok thats NOT what i wanted to say. but oh well.    god i miss you
more than u could know.    i love you    
_Kara_
Mon, 28 Nov 2005 22:28
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The sun is shinning so brite and so new!
Each and every-day I think of you two,
I feel your eyes upon me too:
Guiding me through this world to you,
No matter how hard it may be,
I feel you guiding and protecting me!.
thank you,   r.i.p.  jonny & steph!
Sobriety is awesome as I know you can see, it can sometimes get lonely so thanks for watching over me!
Love ptownmom13,-patti
Sun, 27 Nov 2005 08:14
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Hey stephanie just wanted to say hi and that today is thanksgiving and that means family time!!! Yesterday in
Sullivan's (english class) in the beginning of class everyday we start with writing in our journal's. she has a
prompt on the board, yesterday it was like what what things are you thankful for, and all that! I said that i was
thankful for my family and all that and that the most i was thankful for my friends, stephanie im so thankful that you
were part of my life even through it was only for a few years! There was never a boring moment with you and it
seemed like we had a lot in common with whatever we were talking about! You remember how you guys called
me shorty and half-pint, because i am so short!  And we would be mean in to that one girl in spanish class! And
that we would leave and not come back, saying that we we were just going to the bathroom! We had so much fun,
inside and outside of school!  If you see Jonny anytime soon, tell him i said hi and that a few days ago we were
driving in valleymar and we drove by him house, and I got a feeling of heartbreak! I think that i got use to the
heartbreak and everytime i see something new that makes me think of you or jonny it makes my heart break even
more there have been a lot of deaths happing, and sincea lot have been happing all i can think about are u and
jonny! I miss you everyday and think about you everyday. i miss you twigz! And i feel you with me all the time! I love
you with all my heart and we will meet
again when i get up there!
Love you!
Alex
Thu, 24 Nov 2005 12:38
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I was driving up the coast today trying to have a life without you and I drove by the stables where you used to ride
Trish.  My heart and mind were flooded with memories of those awkward years when you were seven, eight and
nine and all you wanted was to ride horses.  You were so tiny that it was a nearly impossible goal but I never had
the heart to utter the words.  You were so determined and you did it!!  I remember your first horse show when
everyone was amazed that you even had the courage to get up on that horse and compete.  You won three
ribbons that day.  But the most important thing that happened was that you began to be you.  Beautiful, stubborn,
relentless, energetic you.  I will never forget the smile on your face that day.  The one thing I remember more than
anything was how you wanted so much to be independent but you never wanted me to leave.  It stayed like that for
a long time.  You wanted your freedom but you also wanted your Mom (me) to be close.  I loved it that you loved
my cooking the most.  I loved it that you answered my calls even when I was being annoying.  I loved it that all your
friends thought you were spoiled.  I loved giving youeverything you wanted.  I will never regret that.  The best part
was that you only wanted what every kid wanted, to be loved, to be fed, to have the opportunity to argue about what
you thought you had coming, to be heard and to have the chance to grow.  You had that.  You earned that.  I miss
you so, so, so, so, so much, I love you so, so, so, so, so, so, much.  I still love thinking about you and I hope to
see you really, really,soon.  You my love, were the best.  Nothing can come even close to replacing the joy of
having you.  Love and kisses Baby.
Mom

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Hey stephy! i miss u soo much. but i need to ask u a favor... please watch over angela for me. she needs u rite
now more then ever. also please take care of ricky, hes new up in heaven and he needs some familar faces to
welcome him. thanks babygirl. i love u!
<3 Melissa
Wed, 16 Nov 2005 11:03

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Hey Honey,  Well it's almost Halloween and I miss you so, so, so, so much.  I'm thinking of all the costumes you
used to wear and how your auntie Robin and Toni would always do whatever it took to make you the most
elaborate costumes to your exact specifications and size.  I had an experience this weekend that I need to share.  
Someone told me I should forgive myself and start trying to forgive others, those that may need it.  So she gave
me this aroma to put on my hands and breath in and think about forgiveness and the very first thing that popped
into my mind was you.  I never have held any of this against you in any way but  I realized though that you might
need to be forgiven for any bad decisions that you made that night.  So I went in your room and I sat for a long
time just thinking about our life together and how much joy you brought me and how I hope that heaven is real
and that I hope I will be with you there someday and that I forgive you.  I just envy God so much that you are in
heaven and not here with me.  It was all very humbling and it sucked all the energy out of me.  Today looks slightly
different to me and though I have not allowed myself to believe that this really happened it's starting to sink in.  
Your friend Melissa sent me this poem and I will have Toni put it up on the poem page.  You were always my
personal angel and you still are.  I love you and I do see you every minute of every day in my heart where you will
always be.  
Love Mom.
Sun, 30 Oct 2005 09:06:09
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Steph, i no i write here alot but it almost feels that you are with me, i miss you more then ever right now, i miss all
the good times we have had i miss our little singing lessons that we had together lol, i laugh at some of the
memorys and like a min later i get mad because you and jonny were taken away from us i was thinking about
jonny last nite before i feel asleep and was laughing at that!!!! I hung out with maddy and lara one monday, lara
picked maddy up and then me up and we went and got coffee and all that and i got in the car and i was
like hey you guys whats up and i was in the back and maddy and lara were up front and after i sat down i look over
and no-one was there but i felt you with us in the car you should of been there with us stephanie u
should be walking down the red carpet with us and getting all these benefits cause we are seniors, u dont even
no that i need you and jonny more then ever for some reason its bugging me a lot knowing that i wont see you for
a while!!!!!!
Well steph i gtg hopefully you are watching down on us from above!!! I will see you when i get up there!
I love you!
ALEX Ditto
Fri, 14 Oct 2005 14:25
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Hey steph!
It sure has been a while hun? sorry i havnt written and sorry i havnt been to the tree more and brought you more
snickers or butter fingers, or those gross things you like. what are they good and plentys? but i figure i need to
stop being sorry for all the things i have not done yet and just do them. so the first thing that i need to do is to tell
you that i love you and think about you every day. just about every or every other thought that goes through my mind
whether a memory or just thinking about you in general and wishing you could be back here on earth with us.  you
were a huge part of my life and when you left you kinda took a chunk of me with you. i dont think that it  will ever be
the same again. shortly before all this happened i was saying how i missed
hanging out with you watching american idol and juannah man, or just sitting there laughing at well nothing really
at all. i hope your doing ok and i hope you will somehow let me know that you still are watching over us. i love you
steph  and i miss you so much. hopefully i will get to see again some day soon.  oh and i will try to bring you
snickers or butter finger or something. bye  ..... for now steph
love always and forever,
KEL
Fri, 14 Oct 2005 09:21
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I just wanted to say a little something about you to folks.  Ever since the day you were born you were a little
sweetie.  I could not have hoped for more from a daughter.  All my friends at work always wanted to hear how you
were doing and what you were up to.  They always said how lucky I was.   You were so special.  I've been
spending a lot of time just going over our life together and I always find something to make me smile.  I
remember when I was getting acupuncture treatments and you would lay upside down under the table and make
funny faces.   I remember when I would be getting upset over something and you would look me in the eyes and
ever so sweetly "calm down Mom it's ok".  The weekends when we would be so tired after a week of school and
work and we would stay home and watch movies and nap and eat.  I miss you so much baby.  I still feel you in my
heart but it's getting harder to be without you.  Nothing has come close to making me feel like having you in my life
did.  Looking forward to being with you in the next life.  
Love always and forever.  -------------------------------
Mom
Wed, 12 Oct 2005 19:52
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Hey stephanie i wish i had gotten to know you better but i will always remember sitting and talking to you in
english and at cabrillo you were a great girl and i wish that we had been better friends because with what
everyone says about you, you were someone who is always there for other people RIP steph
Briana
Tue, 11 Oct 2005 19:51
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hey steph! i miss your smilng face. i always think about you and what we would be doing if you were still with us.  i
know you were there on my birthday laughing at how suprised i was.  its almost halloween. i remeber how much
fun we had last halloween. unicef?  that was a bad thing to do but we had so much fun.  i miss you every day.  you
will be in my heart forever.
Maddy
Sun, 2 Oct 2005 23:01
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